Ephesians 5:33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
 
THIS very simple-sounding verse can have significant impact on your marriage – and I will say on all of your relationships. There is a book and a ministry called “Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs” b Dr. Emerson & Sarah Eggerichs. This couple has discovered through years of pastoral ministry and counseling how essential it is for two things to exist in a marriage: Frist the wife must know her husband loves her. Second, the husband must know his wife respects him.
    Most of us would say, “What’s the big deal? It’s just two little words.” Please allow this testimony to demonstrate the power of God’s Word: “The other day I decided to tell my husband that I respect him. It felt so awkward to say the words, but I went for it and the reaction was unbelievable! He asked me why I respected him. I listed off a few things, and I watched his demeanor change right before my very eyes.
    “I am sad that I have been married twenty-two years and just now understand the respect message. I wrote my husband two letters about why I respect him. I am amazed at how it has softened him in his response to me. I have prayed for years that my husband would love me and speak my love language. But when I began to speak his language, then he responded with what I have wanted.”
    What Barb and I have learned from reading the book is to say, “I respect you, Bob, for…” and “I love you, Barb.” Even at 45 years-plus, the more I speak love, the more my love for Bab grows.
    So very often we become consumed with things that do not really matter. If God has given marriage to you, honor God by imitating his love and respect message to you. Live in his truth in your marriage. Believe that following God’s lessons will build a stronger union of love and respect between you and your spouse.
 
Prayer: Thank you, Lord, for loving me. Teach me about love and respect. Help me to live truly to what you say. In Jesus’ name, amen.
 

Ephesians 5:31-32 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
 
A few lessons back, we looked at what I called the “Eight Ones”. Here is the ninth. “The two shall become one flesh.” As he concludes his submission teaching, Paul urgently reminds married couples to live into this one flesh relationship declared in Genesis 2:24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. Then Paul urges all of Jesus’ church to be “one flesh” with Christ. What does this mean?
    The “Life Application Bible” answers this well: “The union of husband and wife merges two persons in such a way that little can affect one without also affecting the other. Oneness in marriage does not mean losing your personality in the personality of the other. Instead, it means caring for your spouse as you care for yourself, learning to anticipate his or her needs, helping the other person (live life to the full) under the authority and love of our Lord Jesus Christ.”      
    Consider the high value of the “one flesh” union. At the very dawn of creation, God ordained marriage to be this way. Then after centuries of sin and brokenness, divorce and destruction in marital unions and mankind, Jesus affirmed the Father’s original intent for marriage in Matthew 19:4-6 (Asked about divorce) Jesus answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh'? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” 
    To be fully in a “one flesh” marriage, we must be constantly striving to live into the “Eight Ones”: In Christ, seek to submit to 1) one body 2) one Spirit 3) one hope 4) one Lord 5) one faith 6) one baptism 7) one God and 8) one Father.
    As you are one with God, you will imitate God in your individual life, in your marital relationship, in your friendships, in your church and with your Lord. This loving submission to your Lord will be the foundation to form the most perfect union of all.
 
Prayer: Teach me, Lord, the joy of being one with you. In Jesus’ name, amen.
 

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body.
 
HUSBANDS, see how your marital relationship begins with Jesus. What are Paul’s teachings, husbands, about how you are to be “imitators of God, as beloved children.” (Ephesians 5:1)?
    First, love your wives. You might say, “I do.” but how is your love? Is your love for your wife a casual relationship you seldom consider? Do you express, “I love you.” seldom or often? Are you willing to submit to her desires in love? Remember your love is to be “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”. As Jesus sacrificed his life for you, sacrificially love your wife. Love her so much she and your children ae sure of your love.
    That kind of love will help her to see Jesus in you. She will delight in being with you. When a wife knows her husband truly loves her enough to pursue Jesus, to live as Jesus instructs and to submit to Jesus, she will grow more and more into you.
    Second, love your wife before all people. I am saddened when I fail to do so. I am sorry to see how men diminish their wives before their children, friends and the church. As Christ honored the church that we would be raised to Heavenly glory, honor your wife in honor that she will be praised before her family, friends and the church.
    Third, “husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.” This is obeying the second Great Commandment to love others as yourself. Love your wife to give to her what she needs and desires from you. Be a man who is willing to love his wife “just as Christ does the church.” Be a Family Shepherd. Follow Jesus, and lead your family into Jesus. This will bring restore “bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh” (Genesis 5:23) and you will be as created you to be “one flesh” (Genesis 5:24).
    A Christ-centered marriage is essential to form a Christ-centered church. The family is the core of God’s creation. It was formed before the church to display the image of God to the church and to the world.
    Be a man of God. Lead your family into Jesus.
 
Prayer: Thank you, Jesus, for modeling true submission. I pray I love you Lord and I love my wife as myself. In the Spirit’s power I pray, amen.
   
 

Ephesians 5:22-24 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
 
WIVES, see how your marital relationship begins with Jesus. Remember how Paul has written “Be imitators of God, as beloved children.” (Ephesians 5:1). How sweet it should be in our hearts to say, “I don’t need to believe in the world’s ways of marriage. I get to know God’s ways! I get to let go of myself and live into God.”
    But those words seem far-fetched, for most of us, doesn’t it? Several truths of mankind’s relationship with God keep you wives from that kind of joyful, submissive relationship with God and with your husbands. First, there is the overwhelming sin issue. When Eve sinned, God told her in Genesis 3:16 “Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” This desire is not sexual or relational, but it is a desire to rule over the husband. Sin’s curse broke the God-given harmonic order “bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh” (Genesis 2:23) between husband and wife. Born into Adam’s and Eve’s sin, all women have inherited a desire to rule over the man. The result is constant discord in marriages.
    A second barrier to a wife’s submission extends to her unwillingness in the sin nature to submit to the Lord. As we consider the principles under which we live, we will first consider our own desires. Then, if we have any knowledge of God, we will look at God’s instructions. Then we too often decide, “I prefer my way.” Discord increases.
    The deepest discord comes in a marriage when a husband refuses to submit to God. How can a wife follow a the one appointed to be the Family Shepherd when he will not follow the Good Shepherd? If your husband is that way, pray this simple prayer from Colossians 1:19 “Lord, I pray you will fill my husband with the knowledge of your will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding.”
    Someone once told me that as she was experiencing challenges in her marriage a number of years ago, she prayed, “Lord, give my husband a new wife, and let that be me.” She recognized she could not change her husband. But she realized she could change the way she responded to God’s commands. Transformation began in the marriage when she said, “I submit to the Lord.” The marriage is blossoming and bearing fruit for God’s Kingdom today.
    Many times, ladies, transformed marriages begin with the Spirit’s transformation on your heart. Testimony after testimony of saved, joyful marriages come from women who decided, “I need to change.”
    Yes, pray for God’s knowledge and wisdom. Pray to Jesus you will submit to him. Pray to the Holy Spirit you will please him. Pray to the Father you will submit to his created order. Pray with thanksgiving you know what submission looks like as you see how the Father, Son and Spirit submit to one another for God’s Kingdom come to earth. A pathway to salvation begins with submission.
 
Prayer: Thank you, Jesus, for your great love. Thank you for modeling true submission. May the Holy God be my example on how to live well in our marriages. In Jesus’ name, amen.
 

Ephesians 5:21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
 
FOR the next few verses, Paul is going to encourage the saints – members of Jesus’ church – in Ephesus regarding submission. I wrote on submission in the Esther teaching during February. I’ll reiterate some of those thoughts in the next four days.
    Because submission creates so much push back from all Christians, we must remember why God teaches us to submit to one another. The bottom line is: We are to submit because we worship Jesus.
    All actions of our lives are to be a worshipful response to Jesus, aren’t they? There is, however, no possibility that anything we do will honor Jesus if we do not submit first to our God and then to each other. Recently, I was teaching this concept to married couples and one man essentially said, “Submission is necessary in all things we do. There is no obedience to anyone or anything unless we submit. Submission is key to obeying God.”
    Indeed, he is so very right. But we often refuse to rejoice in the power of submission. We see it as weak and useless to our good. Our culture and human pride say, “To submit is to be dominated.” But the truth is, no one person can live in prideful arrogance against the Holy Bible, against Jesus’ church or against others, and then call himself a Christian. If you doubt this, read about God’s judgment on non-submissive leaders in 1 & 2 Kings. See in the gospels Jesus’ condemnation of those who refused him. Read again in the epistles of Paul’s, John’s and Peter’s words of judgment on those who are non-submissive to Jesus. Let us be eager to learn of and to live into godly submission.
    One aspect of submission means to “grow into”. I like that. Don’t you? With submissive hearts we grow out of our sin, and we grow into an imitation of God in our lives. Submission to our Lord is a result of truly being “born again” as Jesus said in John 3:3. Further, submission is drinking the water that “Jesus “gives to become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (John 4:15). Submission activity is being salt and light into the world for Jesus. Matthew 5:14-15 You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house.”
    Submission says, “Jesus is my Lord and Savior. I am a sinner who needs a Savior. I give my life to him. I receive him into my heart.” We can believe and pray this because Jesus submitted himself to the cross that you could be born again.
    Once we understand submission in the light of Jesus’ submission to the cross, you will more deeply revere him. In that attitude of worship, you will submit to Jesus’ authority. In love and worship for your Lord, you will joyfully submit to him and to one another as the Bible decrees. 
 
Prayer: Lord, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” (Psalm 51:10) I submit my life to you Jesus. Amen.

Ephesians 5:17-20 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, 19 addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with all your heart, 20 giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. 
 
WHAT feelings does this Scripture form in your heart? Do you, perhaps, feel peace? Possibly Paul’s words evoke your favorite experiences in a worship service. Maybe you recall times when you have felt an all-consuming love for Jesus. Could your heart be filled with joy because the Lord God has said, “You are mine!”
    You will experience God in this way when you pursue God. Empty the flasks of drunkenness and debauchery that produce only thirsty, hungry hearts. Pray the Holy spirit guides on a daily righteous pathway. Sing praises and offer daily thanks to God. Pray, sing or say such words to your Lord as Psalms 89:1 I will sing of the steadfast love of the Lord, forever; with my mouth I will make known your faithfulness to all generations…14 Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne; steadfast love and faithfulness go before you. 15 Blessed are the people who know the festal shout, who walk, O Lord, in the light of your face,16 who exult in your name all the day and in your righteousness are exalted. 
    Seek God and sing his songs in your heart. Live with his song of salvation stirring an abiding love for your Lord Jesus Christ.
 
Prayer: Holy God, you are my God on high. I sing your praises. I live knowing I’m loved by you. Thank you. Amen.
 

Ephesians 5:8-14 for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light 9 (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), 10 and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. 11 Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. 12 For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. 13 But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, 14 for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore, it says, “Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” 15 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.
 
THIS is a beautiful blessing and high calling, isn’t it? Be in wonder to understand “You were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord.” You are made new in Jesus. The essence of your very being is transformed from Adam’s sin to Jesus’ salvation! Oh, God, how glorious you are. What hope we know. What joy we experience as a child of light.
     “Light” is often read with the same meaning as “Spirit” in the Greek text. You are light in the Holy Spirit’s power to know your Savior and his eternal purpose for your life. You can accurately “discern what is pleasing to the Lord.” And then you have the Spirit’s power and faith please God. More and more, you imitate God. You are honest and forthright with people, expressing to them your love, peace and kindness. You seek forgiveness as you discern you have sinned. You know when it’s time to inform another of a conflict you have with him. You talk with people and seek prayer regarding your needs and your struggles.
    “Light living” is Spirit living. Shine Jesus into a dark world. Walk with an open love for Jesus. Give warm and caring love to his people. Encourage people to be lights, too.
    Jesus’ church today, as it always has, needs you to walk in his light. These days are evil as they were in Paul’s time. If we do not shine the light of Christ, then darkness will reign. We must truly “let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” (Matthew 5:16)
 
Prayer: I pray my heart shines for you, Jesus. Light me up, Spirit, with your power, love and peace. Show me where I must go with your light today. In the Spirit’s power, I pray, amen.

Ephesians 5:4-7 Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. 5 For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. 6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. 7 Therefore do not associate with them.
 
TALK nice. Avoid coarse jokes. I’m going to assume you of Jesus’ church strive to live into this teaching. I’d like to focus on Paul’s urging to “Let there be thanksgiving (in your speech.)
    Thankful speech seems to be too rare. Why is it that instead of easily speaking words of gratitude and joy, we often are more willing to speak of things we do not like? For example, even talking about the weather we begin with complaints: “It’s too dry, too wet, too cold, too hot, too…” And isn’t it often the case that thankfulness is expressed with, “It could have been worse.” as we complain about some inconvenience. And why is that when asked, “What’s good about your day?” we often respond with blank stares? Do we forget it is good to wake up in the morning? Are we so casual about the food on our table, our work, our homes and most of all our families that we do not consider such blessings as “good things” about our day? Thankfulness seldom seems to be the essence of our human nature.
    Thus, in the midst of teaching us what not to say, Paul says, “Let there be thanksgiving.” Do you think that a thankful heart is less prone to speak coarse jokes? Would thanksgiving be an antidote to foolish talk such as gossiping and lying? Are thankful hearts more open to God’s purity? Certainly thankful hearts are more prepared to receive God’s truth.
    Thankful speech begins with understanding, “I don’t deserve salvation. I am grateful beyond measure my Lord has chosen me to be with him forever.” When we live in this “attitude of gratitude” of our Lord’s salvation, we will more easily live into Paul’s teaching. Our words will praise the wonder of our physical lives. Loving tongues will equate our personal relationships as God’s gifts to us. Hearts in awe of God’s mercy will feel the pleasure of their inheritance into the Family of God. We will speak in the joy and wonder of our salvation.
    As Jesus has said to you, “Come, follow me.” rejoice and be thankful. Gratefully walk in your Savior’s footsteps. Call on the Spirit to increase the space in your heart to always be thankful in your salvation.
 
Prayer: When I speak in coarse or foolish ways, Father, admonish my mouth and change my heart. Disturb my mind more to you. Fill me with thanksgiving that Jesus’ blood has made my sins pure before you. In his name, I pray, amen.

Ephesians 5:3 But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.
 
PAUL continues on the theme of imitating God. In one sentence, Paul reminds us of the Ten Commandments.
    Certainly, “You shall not commit adultery.” And “You shall not covet.” are the two commands to which he specifically refers. The other eight we can summarize with the phrase “all impurity”. Anything that does not imitate God is impure, isn’t it? Worshiping other gods, making idols, speaking the Lord’s name in vain, neglecting the Sabbath, dishonoring parents, killing, stealing and lying certainly are impure aren’t they?
    When we talk of the Ten Commandments, we often say the that the first four point us to our relationship with God. Then the last six point us to our relationship with each other – love God; love one another. But let’s remember that the final six commands are also about our relationship with God.
    What happens when someone sins against your child or sibling or parent? You, too, experience the sin in some way, don’t you? You do, if you love that person in your family. What happens, then, if you act with impurity against the “saints” – all the people in Jesus’ church? You are impure against your Lord, aren’t you? You dishonor God as you sin against his creation and especially his church.
    Remember, Jesus gave his life for the church. As you say, “I belong to Jesus’ church.” you are to honor his own. Imitate God with pure thoughts and actions with all people. Obey his commandments. They are the core of true righteousness.
 
Prayer: Lord God, forgive me for my sins against your church. Strengthen my love for you and for others to imitate your righteousness. In Jesus’ name, amen.

 
Ephesians 4:32-5:1 “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” 5:1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
 
TODAY is the first of three teachings on Paul’s teaching to “Be imitators of God as beloved children.”
    This is a lofty instruction, isn’t it? In fact, such a teaching can seem unreachable and even cause us to say, “I’ll never be able to imitate God! So why even try?” Often, though, when we are given a big goal, a good way to help us reach the goal is to focus on certain steps we can take, one at a time, to reach the goal. Let’s then look at four steps the Apostle Paul gives to us this passage from the end of Ephesians 4 and beginning of Ephesians 5.
    First we step into kindness. Being kind means we have a heart to help, encourage and bless others. Our words are focused on helping. Our actions are centered on serving. A humble, patient heart is a kind heart.
    A second step to be tenderhearted. This is the heart that is eager to care for someone’s emotions and spiritual comfort. Tenderness is an open ear with time to listen to the wounded. Tenderness tells a hurt soul, “You can come to me, and I will care for you.”
    We step next toward imitating God with forgiveness, a step that may be the most difficult. The human heart too readily locks up grudges and painful memories. We sometimes consider, “He doesn’t deserve my forgiveness.” And we feel our unforgiveness punishes another’s errors. But I’ll simply point you to the Lord’s Prayer. You’ve often said the words Jesus taught us regarding prayer in Matthew 6:12 “and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” Then he taught us further in Matthew 6:14 “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”  These are frightening words. Your locked up heart will put your eternal soul at risk. So imitate God. Forgive others as he has forgiven you.
    Then Paul takes us to the core of imitating God. We cannot take these imitating steps alone. Instead, we must “Walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” Our walk toward imitating God begins with love, doesn’t it? After all, “God so loved the world…” (John 3:16) The commandments are based on loving God and loving others. Our relationship with Jesus centers on this: John 13:35: By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
    Daily we must come face-to-face with Jesus’ sacrificial, fragrant love. Remember the eternal aroma of his loving kindness, tenderness and forgiveness. Loving us, Jesus came to teach, to heal, to forgive, to bless, to admonish, to prophecy, to die, to rise and to ascend. Remember his love to send the Holy Spirit to empower you to imitate God.
    Jesus imitated the Father. The Spirit reveals Jesus. Pray the Spirit keeps your heart on Jesus. Live loving God and loving others. Imitate God’s love. Be his beloved child. Show the world who True Love is.